There are two ways of climbing up the ladder. Be a good speaker or be a good listener. Either way, success will precede you. Speaking comes naturally to many people. Atleast, that’s what we aim to become; a good speaker. Listening is a little difficult. It doesn’t involve your own story. It requires giving a patient hearing to the other person’s story. Nothing else is to be done. Just give an emphatic hearing. The combination of being a good speaker and a listener is deadly. But don’t worry, even one will take you far in life.
You will never get time to relax and live your life on your own terms. Something or the other will keep demanding your time and attention. And you will attend to the chaos of life thinking you will call it quits tomorrow. That day will never come. Unless, you call it quits today. Not from work. Not from life. But from the routine and schedule you have created which gives you stress. It’s nothing but a habit. You deserve freedom. The only one stopping you is you.
Everyday I get even more confused. I don’t know if the purpose of my life is to help myself or bring a difference in other people’s life. Off late, the thought that I am helping others gives me a lot of discomfort. Who am I to take the credit? Who gave me the certificate of helping others? Mostly, it is self certified which as no meaning at all. The thread of this thought leads me to the discovery that I am one who is the ultimate beneficiary of what i am doing. Others are merely a means. Although disturbing in the beginning, it eventually gives me peace to know this. We all are helping ourselves in the name of others. That’s the hard truth.
I am guilty of making wrong assumptions about other people on many occasions in the past. I realised I judged them from my angle. I did not see them from their perspective. Most of the time I was biased in my opinion. Many a times I relied on half information, cooked stories and gave a lot of weight to perceived impression about them. As much as it pains today but the fact is; in many cases I was envious to their achievements and took it personally. It was difficult to come over this habit of judging people. I am trying to become more liberal in my thoughts. I am trying to stop being a judge.
It is impossible to do everything on your own. Build a team. Collaborate. It is not just about making more money. It’s about achieving scale if that is what you are capable of. Ofcourse, your personal choice will matter whether you want to taken this route or stay content with what you are doing right now. Nobody is judging you. However, if size excites you, start today. Expand your thinking. Become flexible in your approach. Yes, you won’t get all the credit when you work in a team but you will get something which is worth it’s weight in Gold. Self satisfaction of fulfilling your dream.
Many people suffer from insecurity of recognition. In other words, they have identity crisis. They look for acceptence and acknowledgment from others. It mostly affects people who lack professional expertise, have low confidence or care a lot about how others judge them. They are full of self praise and have even bigger appetite for criticising others. ‘I’ is the centre of universe for them. They know your incompetence but the urge to get endorsement from others makes their actions even worse. This disease can hit anyone. The only way to escape is to become capable and acquire wisdom. If you think you already have it, you have the disease.
There is a thing or two about relationships. They are of many types. It is not just about how much time you spend with someone. It is about how much respect you have for the other person. Sometimes, you get into certain relationships where the other person isn’t even aware about. Yet, you pray for them every moment. If you have to explain a relationship, it is superficial. If you have to maintain a relationship, it is social. Only when you can sacrifice something you love for someone, it is called a strong relationship.
Watch your behavior. If an ill thought is cooking inside you, your body language will change. Your communication pattern will change. You will create an impression of being good. It is nothing but your effort to cover up the forthcoming wrong you are about to commit. Every action of yours will become measured. It is an attempt to prove to yourself that your actions are right. Yes, you might be successful in achieving your objective but you must know this first. The biggest damage has already happened. Your soul has been compromised.
I shall welcome the future with open arms. However, there is no doubt that I belong to the past. I will respect the future but the fact is; I am shaped by the decisions I took before. The good calls gave me stability and confidence. The ones which didn’t go well gave me the depth and taught me humility. It was my past which brought me where I am. And I am happy. I can’t betray it by forgetting the role it has played in my life. I am optimistic about the future. I will remain indebted to my past.
Still water becomes stale. So is life. Move it. Change is good. Embrace it. Then change again. We start getting comfortable with life and a slight change disturbs us. Get into the habit of not getting perturbed when you have to adjust to a new situation. Very soon, it will become the new normal for you. And before you settle down, you will encounter something different and it will demand you to change again. And the cycle will repeat over and over again. How long will you deny? Change yourself.
