When you try to build something meaningful, you will be tested to be extremes. Many times, it will dawn upon you that what you have set out to achieve is impossible. You might burn money on the hope of making it up one day but there would seem to be no light at the end of tunnel. Time will also pose to be a challenge. The more the delay, the lower the chance of success. Handling all these challenges, even if you happen to build something as per your liking, the world might reject your creation and term it useless. It is still worth giving your life to build something which you think could be meaningful. There is no failure when you achieve your dream.
It is not easy to forgive. Even if the other person has no realisation and guilt of hurting us, we keep their identity as an accused in our mind. Even though they may have done nothing, we label them responsible for our misery. It happens because we need to blame someone or else it will become difficult to live. Sometime, our opinion may be right also. Still, we need to forgive and move ahead. When we forgive others, we free ourselves from the agony of holding pain for long. We need to do it for self. It’s better to feel love than harbour revenge.
I want to be honest. I want to be clean. I want to be loyal. But I am human and so I often deviate. I get bouts of guilt afterwards. I hope to mend my ways. But my control lasts only for a short time. I get greedy again. I sneak away from my route, hoping nobody will catch me while a take a detour. But how can get away from myself. My conscience watches me all the time. It doesn’t question me. It kills me even more. But I am too stubborn. The guilt doesn’t last long. I have given up. I can’t fight my vices. I convince myself. It’s ok, I am human.
If you deserve it, you won’t have to demand it. It may take time but you will eventually have your pay. Generally, the world is a good judge of how much you deserve. You might think your work is great but may be you are biased. Maybe, you are in a hurry to get into the Hall of Fame. There may be few people who will pull you back, who don’t want you to win. But, there is an larger outer world which doesn’t know you and rates you fairly. Maybe, you need to refine your craft a little more. So, get back to work.
I have two faces. One that I show. One that I know. On the outside, I show how much I know. Inside, I am aware of my ignorance. Outside, I manage my behavior. Inside, I fight a storm all the time. Outside, I project to be strong. Inside, I am on the verge of breaking down. I am tired of this dual life. I want to be one. Doing this will break a lot of things. It scares me. And that’s why I am holding back. Tomorrow the situation will be worse. But today I don’t have the courage to clean the slate.
It is important to stay strong. All days, weeks, months and years are not going to be the same. Things can disturb and challenge you longer than you think. It’s more of a mental thing and you have to win it there, in your mind. Just when you think you beat an odd, two more will stand up against you. It will frustrate you. It will make you shiver from head to toe. It will try to make you weak. You need to know this game plan of life. It is not against you. It wants you to win and all it does it prepare you for a bigger fight ahead.
Humans behave very differently. If they don’t like someone, they just don’t like them. No matter how hard the other person may try to connect, they can’t be moved. They simple write off the other person for life. Similarly, if they love someone they just can’t live without them. Even if the other person is not interested in them, it doesn’t make their feelings fade away. They can live their entire life loving them silently. Human emotions work in amusing ways. And that’s why they are called emotions.
We live in a world where everything is measured. We put a number to everything. The marks we secure in examinations. The rank we hold in our jobs. The holidays we take every year. The number of influential people we know. The bank balance we have and so on. Sometimes, I feel the world would have been a better place without the invention of numbers. But the damage has been done. Even though we call people by their names we recognise them by attaching a number in our mind. And they do the same for us.
Replay your life in your mind. Everything will be visible so clearly. Things that worked well. Decisions that went bad. People who supported all the way. Relationships that yielded pain. The role of luck in crucial times. Nothing more will give you more wisdom than examining your own past. It will give clarity about the future. All you need is courage to take decisions based on your past experience. The future will be your past one day. Shape it well by looking at the past.
Time is a depreciating asset. No matter how much you have, one day it shall become zero. A decade seems to be a long time but if you don’t use the days well, even a century is not going to amount much. If you are not careful, time shall pass infront of you and you can’t catch hold of it. A moment that goes by becomes history. You have a right to choose how you wish to spend your time. Take control before you are left with nothing. Time is all you have got. How rich you are will depend on how you use it.