I can’t believe it. Recently, while introspecting; a disturbing thought struck me hard. It came upon me that I am becoming a slave of time. And I hate to admit this. No matter how hard I tried to throw this thought away, it remained. May be because, this was the truth. I realized there is so much to do and there is so little time. Looking back, I found I do prioritize well but then again, things that get prioritized are not something I am proud of.
My days and weeks and months are planned. I thought this is a good thing to do. My friends and people around appreciate the way I control things and manage my time. Yet, there is something very discomforting about all this. It seems I am getting a bit mechanical. For many years, I was working towards getting freedom of time and finally, when it seemed to work I realized I went the wrong way. I got obsessed with time.
In my quest to be free I ended up being a slave. I realized I have chained myself to time. My routine is good but then I get disturbed in my mind if things don’t work out on time the way I want them to. May be, I am having an over achievement syndrome; to get more done in less time. May be, I wanted every moment to be productive in some way. Essentially, rather than being free I gave control in the hands of time.
Well, the more it hurts to feel this way the more stronger my resolve becomes to overcome this. I don’t have the solution now but I know the problem. I will figure it out soon.