Forgiving myself was the biggest challenged I faced

Posted on 24th September, 2015 | | 1484 Views | Self Development

I thought I lived a clean life. I would think that I got hurt due to others but I never did anything which hurt others. It was a nice feeling. Well, not until I had a straight talk with my conscience a few years ago. The talk was disturbing. While a fair part of my life was worth being proud of, all was not so good.

As I travelled down the memory lane, I could clearly see quite a few instances where my actions were not right and it did hurt others. Some of them were un-intentional. Some of them were due to ignorance. But whatever it may be, they did hurt the other person. No matter how hard I tried to ignore but I could also see some actions which were guided with the intent of taking revenge. Still worse was the truth that in some cases it was the result of my ill served motives. It was a bad feeling. I never felt so naked in front of myself before.

It shook me like a strong wind shaking the existence of a weak tree. I almost fell never to stand again. I wanted to take control. I wanted to change all this. But I knew I can’t.  I vowed never to do it again. I decided to forgive myself. But it was not easy. Those actions continued to haunt me. I then realized; forgiving others is easier than forgiving self.

Still, forgiving myself was the only way to live a new life. It took me time. It was a struggle with self. Today, I have mostly been able forgive myself. I feel light. Yes, I did make mistakes and it felt bad but I have acknowledged them and I deserve a peaceful future.

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