To give benefit of doubt to people is a valuable skill. Many a times, even if our intent is good, things don’t go in the right direction. Same is true with other people. Instead of judging them just on the basis of end result, we need to give due credit to their sincerity and efforts. This is not easy, for we are obsessed with performance and success. Sometimes, we have no evidence to conclude except the oral version of the person who is responsible for a particular assignment. A benefit of doubt may be the best thing in such a situation. It works both ways. At times, even we are the beneficiary of forgiveness for our unintentional mistakes. It’s good to pass sit on.
We are all afraid of life threatening diseases. However, there is much more serious disease in the middle of all of us of which we underestimate the hazard. It’s called the disease of ‘taking credit and proving our point’. This infection kills while we are alive. It makes us ineffective, stubborn and self centered. It makes us believe that we are capable and knowledgeable and everyone around us is a fool. The feeling of being right, though incorrect, blinds us to the extent that all we recognise is the wrong in others. The problem is; nobody can cure this disease in us. We need to diagnose it on our own and find the cure too.
We can’t hide it. What we think will eventually show in our words. How we feel will ultimately reflect in our behaviour. We may try to pretend what we are not for some time but acting doesn’t last long. Once we create an image which is not in sync with our real self, it takes a lot of effort to preserve that image. It then becomes a catch 22 situation. Why get into all this. Why not let it out all in the open. It will result in peace. It will showcase your true identity to the world. And everyone knows; even an unpolished diamond is worth more than fake pieces of shining pearls.
There is new trend going on. People are focused more on creating their brand rather than developing competence. We are all engaged in promoting ourselves and proving to the world that we are doing very well in our area of expertise, even if that is not the case. We have become so conscious about our image that we over exaggerate our achievements. Since it is consuming so much time and energy in this futile exercise, we are unable to sharpen the saw and slowly losing our competitive edge. This again gives rise to the need of gaining respect by adopting other means. And the cycle goes on.
It’s natural that people will move on. Don’t even try to hold them. You may develop a deep connect with some people but it doesn’t mean that they also feel the same way for you. You must respect their freedom. It may be painful for you to see them go but you can’t force them to stay back. If you truly value them, you should readily accept their choice of taking a different path. For a while, you may feel deserted but you will manage to live. If you ever feel emptiness in the future, take solace and feel lucky that they once inhabited your past.
Ordinary people ask others ‘How’. Leaders question themselves; ‘Why not’. These two responses sums it up when it comes to attitude, progress and success. When doubt becomes a part of our life, the creativity and optimism dies. When we challenge the status quo, we carve out a way in the middle of nothing. Becoming complacent is the easiest thing to do. Looking for a solution to unknown problems is the playground of optimists. When we give up, the obstacle grows in size. When we take up the challenge, the level of difficulty is instantly cut into half.
It is not so difficult to see into the future. It’s not about predicting what’s going to happen. It’s about reading the signals today. I am good at it. Still, I make mistakes. Not because I don’t get the vibes of what’s going to happen but because of my biasness and wishful thinking of changing the end result. Sometimes, I try too hard to hold onto the present, though I know it’s not going to stay that way for long. Maybe because I fear the outcome of tomorrow. Many a times, I close my eyes and try to defy what I have already seen at a distance. It doesn’t work. I don’t know; I should give up my ability to see the future or I should stop trying to change the inevitable.
We want so much in life. There is no end to our desires. It can even become a reason for stress. To live a peaceful and fulfilling life, consider this idea. Everyday in the morning, imagine you are left with only three wishes in life. What would they be? Surprisingly, most of the items which you earlier thought were a must would no more seem important to you. Your whole perspective will change. Peace will arrive in your life. When you have bigger goals in life, smaller issues won’t disturb you anymore. Your decision making will become more matured. Start practising it. It will change your life.
There are loads of opportunities. The questions is; how many can you take up. Every new assignment you undertake will consume your time. Yes, it can make you richer. It will also place you higher in the eyes of society. If that’s your only goal then it’s fine. But what about the other aspect of life. A part which demands solitude and time with self. Freedom of time is the biggest luxury in life. So, it is important to maintain a work-life balance. Never allow work to infringe the territory of personal life. When you give preference to your own self, you will also be able to take care of everything else.
Take it easy. It’s alright if you don’t know how to dance. The sky won’t fall if you are not good in public speaking. It is not necessary to be a part of every committee. If you don’t feature on the cover of ‘Time’ magazine, your importance won’t come down. Find out what you are good at. Spend more time on sharpening your expertise. Become better. Be a master of self discipline. That’s enough to inspire millions. Before it happens, you need to give up many things. Don’t worry about what you don’t have. Ignore what you can’t do. Focus on what you know. Take it easy.